The humble burger; popularized by both clowns and kings across the Western hemisphere, but over time it has grown from simply a fast food icon into something much more epic. So we decided to go head to head and make our own burgers to see which one of us would come out as royalty and which one of us would be haunting the dreams of coulrophobics worldwide.

We each made our own patties both out of fresh minced beef, adding in different seasoning, cooked them side by side and delivered with our own take on the perfect burger toppings.

Obviously, to give Rachael a fighting chance, I took more of a simplistic approach to my burger. I settled on a theme of spiciness, not spicy enough that you'll be stashing bog roll in the freezer, but enough of a kick so that you can taste it.

Firstly; the patty; delicious high fat minced beef [20% fat, much to Rachael's distaste], simply seasoned with salt, pepper, paprika and a few dashes of Tabasco sauce for good measure. I aimed for a 6oz burger, took the meat, balled it up and flattened it out into a patty, then put in the fridge for about 30 minutes to help keep it's shape.

For my delicious patty I used the same technique, but my burger pressing skills are far superior with less meat or ingredients added to the final patty to result in a lighter more palatable burger. I added fresh Rosemary, seasoned with salt and then rolled the edges of the pressed patty in cracked black peppercorns for an extra zip! I have a love of earthy tastes and peppery spice which was the time with this down-to-earth recipe.

Secondly; the extras; now the most important aspect of the burger is out of the way [MEAT!], it's time to shift your attention to what else is going on the burger. Even as an avid meat-eater, I have to confess, you've got to have at least some salad type ingredients to make a decent burger. So I opted for baby gem lettuce and an red onion chutney [finely sliced red onions, fried down in red wine & balsamic vinegar, seasoned]. The lettuce acts as a good barrier between the cooked patty and the bottom bun and saves the meat juices giving it a soggy bottom [G.B.B.O... Great British Burger Off coming to BBC One soon]. One last thing [that I almost forgot, because in mind they're key to a great burger]; gherkins! When I was an ankle biter, I remember numerous times of walking under those infamous Golden Arches, getting my burger and picking out the gherkins, I wasn't even sure if I liked them or not, it was just the done thing. But what a fucking idiot I was [and still am in some regards], because gherkins are awesome and I always have a jar in the fridge these days.

Now we've got the rabbit food out of the way, let's focus on cheese. Mmm cheese, you make everything better. What's a burger without cheese? I fucking travesty, in my humble opinion. Obviously I was towing the line of spicy, so the cheese I selected for my burger was Mexicana cheese. It's a spicy cheese, in case you didn't know.

Greens done, cheese done, extra toppings; I may have previously expressed my love for meat, so why not throw some more on the burger? Mother-flipping; Chorizo! Chorizo is bloody delicious, nothing else to say on the matter, you know it's true.

To achieve my (Rach) mouthwatering masterpiece, simply ditch the added meats and sauces and simpley top the burger with good thick chunks of a good blue veined cheese. I used Dolcelate! Some baby gem, gherkins and I must admit Ben's onion chutney is fantastic which I stole (mwhaha) I like to be able to taste the actual main patty in my burger and I find these days far too many burger joints focus more on the extras than they do on producing a good quality homemade burger so that is what I aimed for. The stars of my dish are the beefy, peppery taste of the burger and the magical melting potency of the blue cheese.

Lastly the bun; brioche all the f'ing way, people. It's light, it doesn't add an heaviness to the burger like some other buns. They're the best and they have a decent shelf life too. Toast the insides slightly and you're sorted.

Agreed completely on that point!

Now cooking the actual beef patty. Simple enough, medium to high heat, get the patty on then we cloched the burgers. This technique, I stole from [what I regard as the best Burger Bar I've ever been to] Burgerzaken in Amsterdam. It cooks the burger faster and keeps in the moisture so your burger is nice and juicy.

Just as our burgers cooked I added some sauce to the lid [top half of the brioche]; French's Mustard & a Spicy Tomato Ketchup. (Ben) Then added my toppings to the burger [while still on the grill]; chorizo and Mexicana cheese, I then pressed the lid on top and cloched the entire thing again giving the cheese time to melt slightly, the lid also softens slightly. Gave it a minute or two and then removed it.

Placed the lid & patty on the base of the brioche, which I'd already constructed with my onion chutney, baby gem and gherkins and Robert's your Father's Brother... a better burger that Rachael's weird blue cheese and rosemary thing ... that I practically had to make for her.

For the more humbled and focused taste then MY (Rach) burger wins hands down, with far more bold and complimentary flavours and a peppery edge! Which Ben definitely did not at any point get his meat hooks into.

Please enjoy the pictures from our burger-day and hopefully it will inspire you to go homemade the next time you fancy a good tailor-made burger!

Rach & Ben x